Death Wants Me to Live
by Unurith
Summary: Deathfic! Other story info inside! Kinda of a weird fic! Involves Relena Duo and somewhat Heero! Enjoy!


SVX: Alright I know you all are going to kill me but I have an excuse ****

SVX: Alright I know you all are going to kill me but I have an excuse! My friend stole all my disks with my stories on them so she could read them! So I don't have anything to continue until they are returned! So I am trying to make up for this inconvenience with other stories! Um…this story will be a little weird so okay just warning you! The last part of Kismet is up so if you haven't read it go for it! Okay here we go… oh wait something else *Ducks thrown objects and a flying fish* O-k well my little muse MAX was in a hiking accident while we were in Colorado so he is on a sick break don't worry he should recover! Alright now I am done on to the story!

*Thoughts*

"Spoken"

__

Inner voices

Death Wants Me to Live 

Relena stared at the bottle of pills in her hand and the bottle of whiskey in the other. She placed the whiskey on the floor and popped open the lid to the pills. She poured five in her hand and placed them in her mouth, grabbing the whiskey and washing them into her system. She repeated this task until both bottles where completely empty. It hurt, her heart, she didn't know if he loved her or if he even cared at all for her. The pressures of the world rested on her shoulders and the hopes of others lied in her speeches. She was emotional, physically, and mentally exhausted. She shook her head as her vision blurred and she felt her stomach turn. She forced herself to stand and stumbled through her hotel room until she fell onto the bed. She felt herself drifting; a complete sense of weightlessness had over come her. The only thing that felt heavy was her eyelids. She fought her sudden fatigue but soon found it to be a hopeless battle as she slipped into unconsciousness. The bill bottle she had been clutching slipped from her fingers and bounced off the whiskey bottle before it to rested on the floor.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Relena moaned as her eyes flickered open and she held her hand to her throbbing head. As soon as everything stopped spinning she looked at her surroundings. She was no longer in her hotel suite on the colony of L6 but in a meadow of sorts. She ran her hand over the tall grass that surrounded her and used all her fleeting strength to lift her body from the damp ground. She looked over the meadow and wrapped her arms around her tiny frame as an eerie chill settled over her. Then she felt something at the back of her neck and she had the urge to look behind her. She slowly turned her head as her eyes moved and then her body followed. She gasped as she took a step back from the site that greeted her. A stream flowed merely feet from her but that was not the cause of her alarm. Beyond the stream instead of the continuing meadow lay a wasteland of gnarled trees and dying grass. Thunder clouds rolled in the distance and lightning struck out and slapped the ground. 

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Not pretty is it? Relena jumped as she heard the deep baritone sound from all around her. _That makes me wonder why you are so eager to get there._

"Where are you, what do you want?" She felt fear rise inside her and she tightened her grip around her body. 

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Where I am, is of no importance but where you are is, and to answer your other question here's one for you what do YOU want? Relena felt confusion wash over her as she looked around the meadow she stood in. * What is going on? * 

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You're dying. Relena felt fear rise in her. 

"What do you mean how did you know what I was thinking?" Relena frantically screamed all around her as a strong wind ripped through the meadow. She fought against it until a strong gust pushed her back causing her to turn around. She let out a terrified gasp as she saw a cloaked figure standing just beyond the stream in the wasteland. She felt fear grip her and it felt as though her feet had grown roots keeping her from running. The figure took slow determined steps until it reached the water where it stopped almost afraid to cross it. Relena felt a wave of relief as she saw the figure hesitate at the stream but it soon disappeared as the figure stepped into the stream heading towards her once again. "Please stay away from me," she pleaded as she felt her knees begin to buckle.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," it was the same voice but this time its direction was pinpointed from the cloaked stranger. As the figure, which Relena now determined was a male, reached the middle of the stream and stopped removing the hood from its head that had cast a shadow over its features. "Princess what do you want," asked Duo Maxwell as the stream rushed around his feet. Relena could only stare confused at the braided boy as he stood in the stream. Finally she began to walk towards him cautiously feeling this urge to walk forward. 

"I…I…want to be happy, to be loved, to rest," she said as her feet touched the cold stream. She moved towards the boy who was clad in black and stopped only two feet from his figure. Duo looked at her with a thoughtful expression then with an opened palm motioned behind him.

"Do you think you can find it in there," he said a sad smile never leaving his face. Relena studied him for a moment, he looked different. His face was paler and his eyes seemed a more vibrant violet but they were empty almost. His hair seemed the same besides to long strands were not braided in with the rest and framed his heart shaped face. She looked past him and at the wasteland and shivered.

"No I don't think I could find it in there but…"

"Then why where you in such a hurry to go, it doesn't make much sense Princess," he interrupted as he brought his hand and placed it on her face. Relena didn't realize how close they had gotten until he touched an ice-cold hand to her face. "I know you're tired, I know you think he doesn't care, but he does and he will help you through everything so please turn around and leave."

"But Duo I…" but she couldn't finish as Duo leaned down and gently brushed his lips across hers. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his taking in every feeling. Soon his lips left her but her eyes remained closed. When she finally opened them she was no longer standing in the stream but in the field. Duo smiled sadly and began to walk out of the stream back in the wasteland.

"Go be happy Relena… someday but not now," he was barely audible as he spoke so softly but she heard him clearly some how. Soon his retreating figure disappeared into a thin haze and Relena felt a pulling feeling. It was as if she was waking from a dream and then a bright light flooded her vision.

~~*~~*~~*~~

"She's coming to," Relena heard muffled voices as she felt her head throb and squinted at the harsh lights. When her eyes finally adjusted to the light she looked around her. The field was gone and instead she stared at white sterile walls and hospital furniture. "Relena?" She turned her head to where the voice was coming from and was met by worried and relieved, familiar faces. "Thank heaven we thought we were going to lose you," said Noin as she squeezed Relena's hand reassuringly. Relena smiled dryly as she looked at all the faces of her friends and family. Everyone was there even…

"Heero…" Relena watched as he walked over towards her and leaned over her grabbing her hand in his.

"I thought we were going to lose you Relena…I'm sorry I wasn't there…I," he stopped when she placed a finger on his mouth and smiled at him. A tiny smile graced his usually ice cold features giving Relena a feeling she didn't think existed. 

"I had a dream while I was asleep, and Duo was there and…" she watched as everyone's face changed at the mention of Duo's name. That's when she realized he wasn't there for the first time. "Where is Duo?"

"While you were in your coma he went to your conference to explain your absence. There was a sniper and he, the doctors tried but he just…" Heero didn't finish and stared at her as she soaked in this new information.

"He saved me Heero," she choked out, "He wouldn't let me cross the river." She began to sob and Heero rapped his arms around her. He didn't know what she was talking about but he was just glad that she was awake and this time he would never let her go.

~~*~~*~~*~~

(Two weeks later)

Relena smiled sadly at the grave in front of her as she placed a single white rose on the fresh mound. "Thank you Duo, you gave me a second chance," she said as she placed a gloved hand on top of the headstone. She turned to see Heero walking up the hill and join her. He gave her a quick kiss before looking at the grave with sadness to his cold features. He turned his gaze back to Relena and wrapped his arm around her waste as they headed back to the car. 

"I love you Heero."

"And I love you Relena."

****

*Thank you Duo*

****

SVX: Weird huh? Let me tell you about it if I confused yah. Relena tried to commit suicide and went into a coma. Her spirit went to the meadow, which represented life, and the stream is the crossing point from life into death, which is the wasteland. Duo was killed and so he is in the wasteland and can't pass the halfway mark in the stream. He keeps Relena from going across the stream ultimately saving her life! Get it I hope so…I know if I hadn't written it I might have been somewhat confused! Any way be sure and R&R! Hugs and kisses!


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